Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Day 7 - Tallulah Falls

Still camping. Having a lovely time with the boys. I am starting to get a little disgusted by my juices that I premade and packed.

Had my BJC for breakfast.

So far on this trip I've turned down:
Chick fila breakfast
Hot dogs
Smores (3 times so far)
Pancakes with butter and maple syrup
Biscuits & sourghum syrup
Kettle corn
Chocolate Newman O's
Fig Newmans
Sourgham lollipops
Hot boiled peanuts

I have really not had any second thoughts about any of these.

Until tonight.

The Man was holding Carl while he slept so I helped the big boys make their smores.

I broke up the graham crackers. No problem.

I put their marshmallows on their little sticks. No problem.

When I opened up the new dark chocolate cherry bar. I had to stop and consider. Then I touched it. Sleek and smooth. Then I turned it over. Perfect little satin shiny squares. I broke off the top row. The perfect snap. No crumbs, no melting.

If you take a bite right now, you may as well get in your car and leave your family. Because you don't love them if you eat that. You don't care about what will happen to them when you get diabetes, or heart disease, or stroke out. If you eat it now, give up and consider yourself the most selfish person on the planet. Leave your family. Be just a memory to your Children and husband.

This is not about self control. This is about changing the way I think and feel about the things I cram into my body.

This is about being aware of what I want for my life.

I gave everyone 2 squares of chocolate and delicately, reverently wrapped the devil back in his golden foil paper. Placed him gingerly into the box, and then it was time to help Arbuckle with his blackened marshmallow.

I put on a pot of water and made myself a nice friendly cup of tea.

And it was good.

I used to have a weakness for chocolate. But I can look at it; touch it, smell it, hear it now and appreciate it for what it is. But it does not control me anymore. .
Went on a small hike to Tallulah gorge.

Ran for the first time in 20 years.

I remember a gym class where we were supposed to run a mile in 10 minutes.

It took me 30.

And I walked it.


While reading a book.

And eating an ice cream.

I used to say, "If you see me running, shoot the guy behind me because I'm being chased."

I'm no longer that girl.

If you see me running, give me a wink or a high 5.

Now, if I'm screaming and freaking out; go ahead and shoot the guy behind me for good measure.

I will not be outran.

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