My brother-in-law handed me A CAKE yesterday.
Did you catch that?
I SAID MY BROTHER-IN-LAW HANDED ME A @#%^$##$# CAKE!!!
SEE. AYE. KAY. EEE.
Got it now.
Yes. A cake.
And probably more sugar.
And he handed it to me because HE'S TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT.
I nearly cried. My heart sank.
The whole way home, I thought about that cake in the seat next to me.
"I'll let the boys have some and then I'll toss the rest."
It will be simple. I've turned down tons of stuff. This is no biggie.
Nope. I got this.
I know who made this cake.
And her cakes are nothing short of awesome.
Probably the best tasting cake I've ever had. Moist chocolate cake. It tastes like structured pudding. The icing is a pure sweet vanilla - think ice cream without the headache; and more fluffy.
Yeah. I'm going to have a problem here.
After lunch, the boys ask if they can have some cake.
I get plates. Just enough for the boys.
I open the container. Oh God. It smells so good.
Better than Grandma's house.
*Is it possible to just ram a slice in the juicer and call it good*
It's all over my hands.
*DO NOT LICK YOUR FINGER OR YOU WILL FAIL*
I seriously considered that since I just finished working out my body would be able to process sugar with ease.
I closed my eyes and imagined just cutting a piece, sitting down at the table and calling it a meal.
*CALL SOMEONE FOR SUPPORT*
*YOU DO NOT NEED THAT TO BE HAPPY*
*YOU ARE MORE THAN A SLICE OF THE MOST DELICIOUS CAKE IN THE UNIVERSE*
I place the plates on the table. "Boys! Cake is on the table. Please clean any crumbs (because so help me God, I'm not strong enough not to lick the table)!"
The next thing I did was consider the icing on the knife. Just a teeny lick, right?
Does this count as a "special occasion"? Let's see. It's Monday. Daylight savings time? Does that count for anything?
I put it up really close to my nose and smell. It smells really good.
*YOU NEED SOMETHING ELSE IN YOUR LIFE TO MAKE YOU FEEL IN CHARGE*
*YOU ARE NOT GOING TO EAT THAT. YOUR BODY IS NOT A DUMPSTER. WALK AWAY. WALK AWAY.*
Then, I took the rest of the cake, and let it slide into the trash can. I felt like I was sinning. I hated throwing it away. I know how much work went into that cake. It's not like some faceless person added water to some grocery store cake mix. It had farm butter, organic sugar, eggs from chickens with names.
I had no choice. I had to get it out of my life.
I went back to the elliptical and worked out again.
That was hard. If I have ever offered a cookie to someone who is trying to quit, I'm sorry.
If I've ever offered a drink to someone who is trying to stay sober, I'm sorry.
Payback was hell.
Today feels like a brand new day. The sun even feels new. The air is fresher. I can even breathe deeper today.
I had my Harry Potter juice today. I added ice and ran it through my Tribest blender.
I'm back in control.
My workout nearly broke me this morning.
I've been having an easier time so I decided to change things up a bit.
I upped the resistance on the elliptical. It felt like I was running in water with snow boots on.
I was sweating and rethinking my life after 10 minutes.
Thankfully, my sister was home. I talked to her and my niece for the last 18 minutes of my torture.
Then, it was done and it felt so good to be in my skin!
It is a good good day.